Planning a Celebration of Life When You’re in Shock

When someone dies, everything becomes blurry. You forget what day it is. You make tea and don’t drink it. You walk into a room and can’t remember why.

And then, somehow, in the middle of all that fog, you’re expected to start planning a ceremony.

It’s a moment that feels impossible — but it’s also one of the most important acts of love you’ll ever undertake.

Because a celebration of life isn’t just an event. It’s a moment to honour a story, to give shape to the chaos, and to help everyone start finding their footing again.

Here in Perth, I often see families caught in that same fog — unsure where to start, but united by love. Modern Perth farewells have become more flexible, allowing space for what feels right rather than what’s expected. From garden ceremonies to community halls, these gatherings prove that healing begins the moment stories are shared.

Start with stillness

Before you start making decisions, take a breath.Sit with someone you trust — a friend, a partner, a family member — and just name what’s real.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need to know what songs, what flowers, or what readings.

Right now, the only thing you need to remember is this: you’re not planning alone.There are people — celebrants, funeral directors, friends — who will help carry the load.

Think in stories, not logistics

When your mind starts racing with the “what do we do” questions, pull back to the “who was they” questions.

What kind of person were they?What made them laugh?What words would they use to describe themselves?

The answers to those questions will shape the ceremony far more meaningfully than any checklist.

You might find that the right tone — the music, the readings, the setting — naturally reveals itself through those memories.

It’s not about doing it “properly.” It’s about doing it personally.

Ask for help — then accept it

In the early days, people will ask, “What can I do?”It’s okay to give them real jobs.

Ask someone to gather photos.Ask someone else to manage music.Let another person coordinate with the venue or celebrant.

These small acts of delegation are gifts — they let others love you through the logistics.

And if you’re the kind of person who usually takes care of everyone else, remember: letting people help is its own kind of strength.

Planning a Celebration of Life in Perth

If you’re in Perth and planning a farewell, remember that local celebrants and funeral directors can guide you gently through the process. Many Perth families now choose celebration-of-life ceremonies that focus on storytelling, c

Choose meaning over perfection

It’s easy to get caught up in details — the order of service, the flowers, the fonts.But no one will remember whether the ribbons matched the hymn sheets.

They’ll remember how it felt.

They’ll remember the laughter through tears, the stories that made them nod in recognition, the song that cracked every heart open.

"A celebration of life isn’t about flawless coordination. It’s about honest connection.

Let it be messy. Let it be real.The love will carry it."

If you feel nothing — that’s okay too

Shock can make you numb. You might not cry. You might not feel anything at all.That doesn’t mean you don’t care — it just means your body and heart are protecting you.

Sometimes, the emotion comes later — during the ceremony, or even weeks down the track.

Give yourself grace. You don’t need to perform grief. You just need to show up in whatever way you can.

You don’t have to hold it all

There’s a reason celebrants exist — to hold the words, the structure, and the meaning when your hands are too full to do it yourself.

When I work with families, I often remind them..

“You don’t have to know what to say. That’s my job. You just have to know how you want it to feel.”

That’s enough. From there, we can build something beautiful — together.

The heart of it all

In the days that follow, as things start to move again — the phone calls, the paperwork, the quiet — it’s that ceremony that will stay with you.

It becomes the first bridge between life before and life after.

So if you’re standing in that fog right now, unsure where to begin, start here:Talk about them.Remember them.Tell someone their story.

That’s the beginning of every celebration of life — love, spoken aloud.

FAQ

How do I plan a celebration of life in Perth?

Start by connecting with a celebrant who can help shape the ceremony around your person’s story. Many Perth families choose venues like gardens, parks, or community halls for their farewells.

What if I feel too overwhelmed to plan?

That’s completely normal. Your celebrant, family, and friends can help carry the details while you focus on remembering and honouring.

More from The Wordsmith

→ What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Say

→ The Quiet Power of Saying Goodbye Your Way

If you’re looking for a celebrant to help honour someone you love, I’d be honoured to help you find the right words.

— Carina Quinn | The Wordsmith CelebrantCreating modern, heartfelt celebrations of life across Perth.